Brave New Cafeteria

It’s 13:00 at the feeding center. Before the meltdown, the center’s windows allowed in sunlight. Now, the windows are walls. We each line up six feet apart on our designated floor positions. Like newly manufactured widgets under inspection for defects, we are summoned towards the checkpoint. The feeding officer motions for me. I tap my proximity card onto the reader, “Welcome A160038**,” she vocalizes. “Brave new world,” I remark. “Mhm,” she murmurs from under her mask. Robotically, she administers an isopropyl alcohol solution onto my hands. Mercilessly, the hydroxyl groups “shred apart” the phospholipid bilayers of my resident microbes—my hands rendered devoid of life. Having executed this brutal scorched earth policy, I follow the red arrows into the main chamber. It is different here; the new quietness and impersonality is discomforting. Once my selection of hermetically sealed rations has been made, I’m efficiently directed out of the center. The whole process takes no more than three minutes. It’s painless, but nothing more. In and out, we’re processed, allotted rations, then expelled.

The Power of the Pool: An Alternative Form of Meditation

The swimming pool is a powerful mechanism for healing, reflection, and peace. When I think about the pool I can’t help but sing “these are a few of my favorite things…” from The Sound of Music. Just as the young postulant Maria remembers “raindrops on roses” and “bright copper kettles… when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when [she’s] feeling sad,” I remember the swimming pool when the midterms come, when the sleep deprivation hits, or when I need a break.

Jazz in the Caf

What’s more beautiful than sharing food? Sharing music—and, you ask, what happens when you share both? Love, which is exactly what Fordham University provided its students on February 5th, 2020, yet another year of our Lord. Preparing for a quick lunch date, we were walking to the Mecca of Fordham University, the cafeteria, excited by the thought of consuming its nutritional product, and not expecting anything out of the ordinary. What we found, however, was extraordinary—the real fountain of youth—a small band of six middle-aged men playing jazz. Notably, the drummer of the band resembled an older version of one of our very own Editor-In-Chiefs, Christian Decker. All the more delightful!

Revisiting The Cafeteria

Since my last article about the cafeteria, major changes have occurred in the Marketplace both gastronomically and socially. The new changes to the food offerings, food positionings, and Cafeteria policies enacted by the Aramark Corporation have surely impacted the student body but are minuscule in comparison to the cafeteria’s recent social shifts.

“Roger Stoned”

No, Roger Stone, one of Trump’s former campaign advisers, was not stoned this Thursday, but he was sentenced to forty months in prison for impeding Congress’s investiagation on Russian interference in the 2016 US presidental election. Now the public is wondering if Trump will attempt to pardon Mr. Stone. Provided is the list of Roger Stone’s Ten Rules

Hughes Hall Is Heaven but We Need New Gates

If you think of the coolest buildings on campus, Hughes Hall, the home of the Gabelli School of Business, is likely one of the first to come to mind. Even non-business students feel this way. [Name redacted], a liberal artist, says, “I’ve never been inside it but honestly when I walk by I think, ‘that’s so cool.’” It’s white and well-lit steps, dark stones, aluminum handrails, terrazzo floor, Hilton Garden Inn furniture, wood accents and futuristic trading room are a level above the rest. And let’s not forget those gorgeous sliding doors. Ooooh Aaaaah… they open, they close, they make a sexy swoosh noise…. Oh those sliding doors, they’re so cool, they’re too cool, in fact, they are cold, extremely cold.