To My Comrades of the Paper

Like many revolutionary thinkers, I will be publishing my work anonymously. I know that I will call out some powerful people and do not want to put myself or those I love at risk. So here we go: I propose that the paper’s Earwax and News sections officially secede and form their own publication.

Talking About It

Over the summer, and indeed, most of the spring, there has been a plurality of issues that the United States has had to deal with, from a largely preventable and massive death count from COVID-19, loss of faith in public institutions, a large and growing movement for racial justice, and a demand for accountability when it comes to police violence.

Fordham University Begins Academic Reopening

Gazing over the crowd of freshmen watching Fordham’s orientation video on consent, I realized something: Fordham has well and truly fucked us. We chose to give them our eight grand, we chose to get into bed with them, on the assumption that all of us were going to work to get the best situation possible in these unprecedented times. Now, not only do they refuse to use protection—more on that later—but they continuously refuse to give us any information on what’s going to happen next.

USG Attempts to Make the Best Out of Bad Situation

Well ladies and gentlemen, and those who do not identify with either gender, we’ve reached the apex of hell. The rest of the semester will be conducted from the privacy and loneliness of our respective homes. I’m not happy about it, you’re probably not happy about it, but nonetheless this is the situation we’ve found ourselves in. My heart truly goes out to the seniors, both those in high school and those at Fordham who are really getting screwed over by this. We love and appreciate you, and we wish you the best. That being said, we’ve got to get to the meat of the issue.