Every year there’s always that one friend who insists that Christmas starts on November 1st. Do they not understand that Christmas doesn’t start until after Thanksgiving?!
If you do not know what Diwali is, it is the festival of lights that is celebrated by millions of Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, and Jains all over the world. Ultimately, it marks the victory of light over dark, good over evil, and hope over despair.
The most wonderful time of the year has arrived. Naturally, for the sake of this article, I decided to try every single new drink offered at Fordham’s Starbucks location. I can feel my wallet wailing in agony already, as I deplete my savings on, quite honestly, overpriced offerings.
As I logged on to Facebook one day however (always a mistake) I had noticed some former acquaintances of mine, and even some family members, posting some startling information. This information had to do with the biggest right-wing boogeyman to ever be created in elections: voter fraud.
I want to remind everyone that… *Ahem* We are in the: MIDDLE of a GODDAMN FUCKING PANDEMIC!!!!! Thank you. That is all.
Like many revolutionary thinkers, I will be publishing my work anonymously. I know that I will call out some powerful people and do not want to put myself or those I love at risk. So here we go: I propose that the paper’s Earwax and News sections officially secede and form their own publication.
Sup bro dudes, it’s your boy, back to tell you about the latest insanity that has pegged my mind these past couple weeks. THE DEATH OF DEMOCRACY! HOORAY! IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING!
Starbucks has introduced something so revolutionary, so delectable, and simply incredible, that I almost forgive them for shoving pumpkin spice lattes down my throat every fall. I’m talking about its newest member of the pumpkin spice family, the Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew. I dare to say that it is far superior to the infamous Pumpkin Spice Latte.
When my friend Richard invited me to grab Filipino food with him and a few other friends, I had no choice but to accept his kind offer. Mainly because my original plans for the day had fallen through, leaving me disappointed and without purpose. But I was also enticed that this excursion involved two of my favorite things at college: exploring NYC with friends and trying new, delicious foods.
Whoever invented the Zoom Breakout Room feature owes reparations to every college student in America. You do not know the damage you have done to our frayed nervous and broken spirits. We hate breakout rooms.