Bernie Sanders is Running Again and Not Everybody is Feeling It

If you want to completely replace U.S. capitalism with an entirely different socialist society with free college, free healthcare, and cut off trade with many foreign countries, you are in luck. As of Tuesday, February 19, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders is running for president of the United States in 2020. In order to increase his number of supporters, Bernie had to throw a few low blows at current President Donald Trump, calling him “the most dangerous president in modern American history,” and he didn’t stop there.

It’s The Remix To Ignition, Coming Straight Out Of Prison

It’s the remix to ignition, coming straight out of prison. Artist R. Kelly was arrested on Friday, February 22nd on at least ten counts of sexual abuse, some of which involved underage girls. This is not our friend Robert’s first rodeo in court. R. Kelly has been involved in an illegal marriage, many abuse scandals (some of which are on video), and is supposedly at least a couple hundred-thousand dollars in debt and facing eviction.

Lice! Lice! Read All About It!

Everyone remembers lining up outside the nurse’s office in first grade, hair tied up in pigtails, lunchbox in hand, waiting to get their hair combed through for the infamous lice check. It was terrifying, sitting in that plastic chair with an old lady’s fingers ripping through the knots in your hair, waiting for what seemed like hours to see if you could go to recess or if you had to go home.