Ask Brett & Bryttneigh

Bryttneigh: I had my first kiss to “Fire Burning” at my middle school dance. Sister Mary Catharine told us to “leave room for the Holy Spirit” while dancing, but Jeremy didn’t listen to that bitch. Which one of you boys want to be the new Jeremy at Spring Weekend?

Did the Mueller Report exonerate Trump? Fake News

Good news everyone! Donald Trump is not guilty of treason. As you know, the President was cleared of colluding with Russia; according to the four-page Barr report summarizing it. While Obstruction of Justice is still up in the air due to the full report not being released yet, one thing is for sure: Donald Trump is still a dick. President douchebag may not be guilty of this one crime but that does not change who he is as a person.

Betsy Devos hates the Special Olympics, loves Charter Schools

During a congressional budget hearing this past Tuesday, March 26th, Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos defended the proposed cuts in funding to programs such as Special Olympics, National Technical Institute for the Deaf, and the Helen Keller National Center for Deaf-Blind Youths and Adults. The 2020 Department of Education budget proposes a $17.6 million cut to Special Olympics. During the hearing on Tuesday, Rep. Pocan stated that this budget cut would result in 272,000 children with disabilities losing the support they receive from the organization. Thankfully, in the past Congress has blocked these proposed slashes in special education program budgets.

Fake Melania Conspiracy Theory Takes Nation by Storm

The internet has stricken the Trump family yet again. The fake Melania Trump conspiracy theory has returned with a vengeance and investigative Twitter is thrilled. For context, back in 2017 photos surfaced of Melania Trump looking rather unlike herself. The conspiracy is that this woman is not Melania at all. People believe that when Melania gets fed up with Donald’s shit, she sends in her double to attend events in her place. At first, it may seem ridiculous; however, it makes significantly more sense if you think about the dynamic of their marriage.

500 Days of Summer: Best Rom-Com of All Time? Gabby says yes

ruth be told, I’m not a big fan of rom-coms. The only ones I do enjoy watching are for their nostalgic value, i.e. 13 Going on 30 or A Cinderella Story. I was in high school when I first saw Marc Webb’s 2009 rom-com 500 Days of Summer. Being the oh-so-cynical edgelord teenager that I was, I immediately dismissed it as a stupid romance that I’d hate and proceeded to make fun of every trope I saw in it until the two friends I was watching it with told me to please shut up. Little did I know that as I was mocking director Mark Webb for using these tropes, they were being deconstructed before my very eyes.