the paper’s View

Being A Trust Fund Turd From Connecticut Precludes You From Joining The Rebel Alliance. Sorry.

We here at the paper are no strangers to hyperbole. The president of this University, Father Joseph McShane, who for all we can tell is a fairly non-despotic and amicable individual, once adorned the cover as a 1984-esque Big Brother (And just so happens to be gracing this issues cover, as well). He also regularly appears within the paper’s pages under the pseudonym Daddy Mac, a foul-mouthed reggaeton star with a penchant for cocaine. But at least the paper’s intent is to be nothing more than silly, lampooning an easily recognizable campus figure with obviously fake attacks.

Daddy Mac Attack
Daddy Mac Attack

A recent set of flyers produced by the culture warriors over at the Fordham College Republicans is a decidedly different story. As seen around campus last week, the group’s advertisements portrayed young GOPsters as the Rebel Alliance, the mythic opposition from the Star Wars trilogy, and asking others to join them in their perceived struggle. Though the paper is certainly not claiming that the neophyte neo-cons in McGinley basement are making a literal statement, their flyer is not just silly exaggeration, either. Rather, though it is meant to be comical, it is the manifestation of an earnest belief that has emerged in the Right wing of American politics in recent months. The group here at Fordham which represents the party that has controlled both the presidency and the Congress, that has shifted the balance of the judiciary in its favor, and that has dictated federal government policy for the better part of a decade honestly believes itself to be an oppressed minority. Indeed across the country, conservatives are repositioning themselves as the proverbial “victim.” And, perhaps strangest of all, they aren’t even out of power yet.

The re-branding of the Republican Party as scrappy underdogs would make more sense if America were ten years into Democratic control of government, when the recent years of GOP success were distant history. Or perhaps too it would be reasonable if the current unpopularity of the party were a random or unjustified discrimination. But neither is the case.

America is coming off eight years of a Republican president, one that veered far right of center and often catered to the radical elements of his party’s constituency. For six of Bush’s eight years in office he worked with a GOP controlled House and Senate; together they pushed through massive tax cuts for the highest brackets, vastly increased defense spending and presided over a massive period of business deregulation. And to cement the lasting effect of the past decade has been the appointment of two conservative Supreme Court justices. The Republican Party, when all is accounted for, has done pretty well for itself thus far in our nascent millennium.

Well, of course, we would never revel in some sort of shallow post-election shadenfreude, oh no. We’re content to simply work off our November 4th hangovers and get ready for the long road ahead with a new resolve and feeling of hope after eight years of what can only be described as disaster. That being said, it does feel really, really good to see the Chad Ciocci’s of our great nation being reduced to the whiny crybaby stereotypes that they had always falsely attributed to us on the Left.

For all the ludicrous accusations of unAmerican-ness that the Right flung at critics of George Bush, it’s nice to see the same noble patriots starting Facegroup groups looking to impeach a president-elect and starting websites urging us to “join the resistance” against a man who has yet to assume power. It’s good to see those who loudly chastised those who would dare to question our countries ill advised stumble into Iraq, or the embarrassing human rights violations at Gitmo suddenly looking to call themselves “rebels.”

Care To Join?
Care To Join?

But, good sportsmen that we are, Fordham University’s College Republicans are welcome to come and share an arugula salad with us godless, unAmerican, baby killing freaks any day; so long as you drop this silly idea that you, of all peoples, are somehow underrepresented in this world.

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