Blake Schwarzenbach, frontman of both Jawbreaker and Jets to Brazil (two of my absolute all-time favorite bands), played two house shows recently with a new band, The Thorns of Life, featuring Aaron Cometbus on drums and Danieal Sea on bass. Needless to say, it has been difficult to walk around the past few days with such a large Schwarzenbach boner (I’m still and forever will be beating myself up about not going to those shows). There better be more coming.
Music erections aside, this issue of earwax introduces a revolutionary new symbol to be added to already massive canon of q-tip and poop symbols…the q-tip infinity sign! This never-ending sign is magically reserved for a band that continues to produce the same garbage over and over, eventually reducing itself to the poop-tainted level of Walmart only sales (AC/DC). I truly hope that this much-needed addition finds its way into future reviews. The hits just keep on coming, and coming, and coming, and coming, and coming, and coming, and coming (times infinity).

Read Earwax (PDF version).

the paper’s Ill-Legal Download List:

“Follow Closely” – Hush Arbors
From their latest release, Hush Arbors, “Follow Closely” is a much more forward song than most of Hush Arbors’ earlier music. This is not to say that the band was ever terribly obtuse (they weren’t), only that this tune does not feature any the drone elements that are a major part of their previous albums, like Landscape of Bone. “Follow Closely” still features a minimal amount of percussion and the same airy falsetto from Keith Wood. However, the vocals themselves are much farther forward in the mix, the guitars are much cleaner and the rhythm is bouncier than the songs that typically grace the band’s canon. Essentially, this is a Hush Arbors song you could dance to, should you be so inclined to cut some rug.

“Luminol” – Miracles of Modern Science
Last Friday, Miracles of Modern Science rocked the tits off the Ramskellar without the use of guitars. The six piece is composed of two cellos, a stand-up bass, a mandolin, a violin and a drum set, but still managed to create more melodic noise than most traditional rock bands around today. “Luminol,” a standout both live and on their self-titled EP (available for free at amazingwow.org), starts out with a violin trill and plucked mandolin line and slides into a traditional pop song. The tension builds for two verses until the second chorus explodes in an intense cacophony that realizes the awesome potential of a line-up like this.

Sauntom of Qualace” – Youtube

From the dynamic intro—proclaiming “He’s got a gun and great big man tits,”—you know this is going to be good. Shamefully rejected as Quantum of Solace‘s theme song (in favor of the disgraceful “Another Way to Die,” by Jack White and Alicia Keys), this song is currently burning up the charts (not Billboard, but Youtube). Tastefully listed as “Quantum of Solace – Proposed Theme Song” on Youtube, this ditty sounds a little bit like David Bowie, and a lot bit like what should have been the official theme song. Scroll past the inevitable fight breaking out between Youtube commenters and you’ll see rave reviews such as, “the guy that play’s in this movie is kind of old…but i still think he’s hot..lmfao,” “Man tits lol,” and “Way better then pale Jack’s and piano girl’s song for the new bond film,” and even “Absolutely bloody genius.” Well said, supremoscreamo, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

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