Who Says Growth Charts Stop When You Move Out of Your Parents’ House?

by Molly Golger

Coming off of a Covid riddled year of college, many of us Rams are making exciting innovations in unexpected fields. Part of that innovation came with the rise of dating apps on campus.  Tinder is not fading away anytime soon, as the infamous app was one of the only ways to meet people for a year and continues to crutch college students’ social and love lives.  However, we all know the murky waters that come with any and all online interactions. While one generation fears sociopathic murderers may be behind their phone screens, naturally Gen-Z fears the most that *God forbid* their match may have been under six feet. 

From my dorm interior design knowledge, this phenomenon manifests itself in one of two ways. Option A: the standard six feet marker. It may be duct tape, maybe a Sharpie notch, or perhaps a sticky note. This option is the categorical revealer. No person makes it out of that room without being accounted for. From my experience, designers of these benchmarks either hang them as an unapologetic badge of pride: arrows pointing, glitter embellishments, and even an assortment of *red* LED lights – getting right to the point. Or, they are sly, crafty, makeshift indicators that remain a secret to the general public. If you should find yourself so lucky to be inducted into this secret society, you will see the faintest of pencil marks, strategic placement of pushpins, and, of course, the transparent scotch tape. Honestly, I say if you care enough to mark your wall, you should just wear it on your sleeve. Your crazy will come out eventually anyways – let’s be real. 

Now onto Option B. Let me preface this by saying, if you make it to option B, you should be flattered. To clarify: Option B is marking a specific person’s height as opposed to the more generalized six foot mark in Option A. It’s not everyday someone thinks you’re special enough to mark your height on a wall for strategic purposes. You may be wondering, strategic purposes? You are sexually frustrated twenty-year-olds, not the CIA (although the venn diagram definitely exists). However, I have seen this specified marking utilized for many different purposes. For instance, it’s helpful for outfit planning or even potential picture poses. But I would be remiss to not acknowledge the magnum opus of this innovation: being able to catch your potential date in a lie. As my best friend, a proud six foot woman, says, “Whenever I stand in a crowd in a concert, I can really tell how many men lie about their heights.” Now, many men rightfully are pissed off when they catch wind of this interior design trend. Rebuttals include, “Well I am going to put a scale in front of my room’s entrance” (harsh but fair I guess). Which is why I am postfacing this by saying I love all short kings;  please do not send an anthrax envelope to my room in O’Hare :-). 

It’s always interesting to see how our social practices converge with our living spaces. While the over six foot craze does not appear to be going away anytime soon, it may take other shapes. We never expected to be full-grown adults having height markers on our door frames; yet here we are lining up yet again armed with measuring tape and Sharpie. At the end of the day, it’s moments like these when we realize that time is a flat circle. We can only wonder what odd childhood niche behavior we will end up repeating next time around. 

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