By Omkar Ratnaparkhi
If you want to get gains, then this shirt’s for you! The Baby Growda This is the Whey t-shirt comes in four designs: black t-shirt, black cutoff, white t-shirt, and white cutoff. Pretty much everyone will enjoy the design on this shirt, since it features a swole version of Grogu (also known as The Child or Baby Yoda). Everyone loves Baby Yoda, except for war criminals–or worse–crossfitters. Why are crossfitters worse than war criminals? It’s simple. Everytime a crossfitter does a fake pullup (a.k.a. kipping pullup) on purpose, a gym war crime has been committed. How dare they bastardize the most simple and effective calisthenic exercise! All joking aside, I am worried you will be losing gains by doing workouts with poor form if you’re a crossfitter, and you should immediately purchase this shirt for just $28 on domerch.com in order to get back on the gainz train.
The main difference between the on-screen Baby Yoda from The Mandalorian and Baby Yoda on the shirt is that the t-shirt Baby Yoda is swole. Due to Jedi training, Baby Yoda has acquired some serious upper body strength and lean muscle mass, and he has earned the nickname “Baby Growda.” This can be seen by the fact that he’s so shredded that his baby jedi tunic is now partially ripped, and he has prominent bicep veins. It is unknown what his forearms look like, but given the fact that he has better bicep vascularity than me, I would assume that he at least has spider web forearms like myself. This young shredi padawan is so strong that he bench presses 405 lbs. for reps! In Season 1 of The Mandalorian, Baby Yoda used the force to float a massive mudhorn beast. Baby Growda is capable of floating the mudhorn up and down while benching 405 lbs. for reps. The bar goes up, and the mudhorn floats up. The bar goes down, and the mudhorn goes down.
Baby Yoda’s preferred drink in Season 1 of The Mandalorian is bone broth. Baby Growda’s favorite drink is bone broth mixed with whey protein powder as seen by the “WHEY” cup he’s holding on the shirt. This combo of bone broth and whey is perfect for protein intake, because it’s about 100g of protein per cup.
Who Created the Shirt?
Officially, Dom Mazzetti is a character played by comedian Mike Tornabene (but if you ask me, Dom is the real one and Mike is the character). Dom is beloved by gym bros around the world and is fittingly referred to as “the brofessor.” On YouTube, Dom runs the channel BroScienceLife in which he makes short videos on Broscience. If you don’t know what Broscience is, then watch his three minute video that explains Broscience.
Dom can also be seen with his significantly smaller half brother Bradley Martyn on the YouTube channel BROS VS. Recently, Bradley Martyn has moved on from clickbait videos with attractive women on his main YouTube channel and instead is doing body transformation videos with TikTokers by hooking them up with performance enhancing drugs. I still don’t know what Noah Beck does, but IFBB Pro bodybuilder Greg Doucette and Derrick from MPMD have convinced me that he’s on some steroids and/or SARMs due to his gyno and low testosterone levels #fakenatty. At first, I was confused why someone would look to a small guy like Brad to get big, but then I realized that these are TikTokers who have already foolishly sold themselves to the Chinese Communist Party’s data mining and surveillance app (TikTok).
Technical Analysis of Gains: beginner gains, calf genetics, or is it the shirt?
After my roommate gifted me the Baby Growda This is the Whey t-shirt, we started an nsuns lifting program from liftvault.com. Unfortunately, the Ram Fitness Center doesn’t have enough weights due to the fact that it’s only partially open; so we’ve been lifting at an undisclosed outdoor location. I am grateful for being able to lift here, but I’m starting to notice muscle imbalances from lifting on uneven ground. I have also noticed an even more startling imbalance.
Ever since working out with this t-shirt, my leg gains have greatly outpaced my upper body gains. This is truly shocking, because Dom Mazzetti is notorious for skipping leg day, and I find it bizarre that he would design a shirt to increase leg gains. In fact, my leg gains have increased so much to the point that I think I can deadlift about 2.75x my body weight with a lifting belt. According to one article I read, this makes me a gym superhero. I will warn you however, if you’re stuck under a car, I probably can’t save you. Your best chance is waiting for Baby Growda or Pedro Pascal to show up. After all, Baby Yoda and Pedro Pascal are currently carrying all of Disney+ and the Star Wars Franchise on their shoulders, so a car is lightweight for them.
After noticing the great difference in gains, I started to think of reasons for this huge disparity. The disparity could be because of my naturally long arms limiting my range of motion on deadlift and greatly increasing my range of motion on bench press. However, this would be using real science to explain my gains, and Broscience isn’t real science–because it’s harder than real science. According to my Broscience technical analysis, if you want leg gains use the t-shirt version of the shirt and if you want upper body gains use the cutoff version of the shirt. It’s fool-proof and rigorously tested logic!