A Much Needed Covid Reminder

by Anonymous

I want to remind everyone that…


We are in the:

MIDDLE of a 


Thank you. 

That is all.

Just kidding! I’m here to bitch about COVID and I’m bringing all you fake ass bitches down with me. That’s right, you’re a fake ass bitch! And I mean it! 

The same people posting shit like “remember guys, we’re not celebrating Biden’s win, we’re celebrating Trump’s loss, remember to keep Joe and Kamala accountable during their term!! <33” are the same people who took the first train they could down to central park so they could darty on the great lawn and parade their ass down the streets of Manhattan. Where’s YOUR accountability?? Did you forget that COVID rates are skyrocketing?? Oh right, you never cared in the first place. Performative activism at its finest. 

I mean, woo-hoo, Biden won. For many of us, it was the first presidential election we ever voted in. This year has been monumental. Those of us stuck at home may feel a sense of community formed in the online celebration of the first woman vp, etc. And yay, power to you. 

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, can we uh, stop, like… romanticizing protests and riots and gathering in the fucking street whenever you feel like it just so you can post a picture of a jam-packed Times Square to show that you’re woke? Pandemic aside, I’ve gathered that a lot of young people romanticize the idea of “being a part of history” and “making change” to fulfill this weird 1960s summer of love fetish that they have. 

I’m not saying this to sound like some disgruntled boomer who’s mad at young whippersnappers wanting social change. Civil disobedience is rad. Being a fake woke pretentious asshole who has no idea what the fuck they’re talking about or what the fuck they’re doing is not. Exhibit A, literally parading in the streets when Joe Biden is elected, amidst a FUCKING PANDEMIC, after you just disavowed the DNC on your Insta story. Which is it?? You’re doing FOX news’ job for them. 

Back to COVID, I just… I’m so fucking tired. You know, for a little bit I was kinda mad. I was thinking: hey, I’m really trying my hardest to stop the spread of COVID. I don’t leave my house unless I have to, I get tested regularly, and (I think) I have a good amount of basic human decency. And for what? For millions of other people to not wear masks, go to parties, and literally do whatever the fuck they want? What do I get? Then I realized, oh yeah, at least I didn’t get COVID. That’s my reward. Good for me. 

Halloween is my all-time favorite holiday of the year. Seriously. And you know what I did? I dressed up, did my makeup, took some selfies, AND STAYED HOME! To all you Kylie-fuckers (that’s what I call celebrity obsessed Twitter culture fiends) who forget that life exists outside of social media – you can skip posting about your basic ass outfit for a weekend. Or every weekend whilst during a pandemic. And no, I don’t want a pat on the back for having a shitty social life. You know what I want? For life to go back to FUCKING NORMAL!

Speaking of “going back to normal”… do you know how many people’s lives will never go back to normal? Do you know how many children in New York alone have lost a parent or caregiver to COVID? How many families have been pushed into poverty? Their lives will never be normal. Yeah. It’s fucking morbid. But some of you don’t think about anyone but your fucking selves. 

In all honesty though, I’m thinking about my fucking self. Everyone else my age who’s like: it’s not even bad if young people get it! Young people have like, a 100% recovery rate! BITCH! I DON’T WANT COVID! WHAT’S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND! IDC IF I’LL “SURVIVE” I DON’T FUCKING WANT IT!!! Besides, you’re dehydrated, you had an iced coffee and puff bar for breakfast, and haven’t washed your mask since you got it. But because you’re 20, you’re the pinnacle of health… okay. 

And now there’s talks of New York going into a second lockdown. All I have to say is, what did you fucking expect? Also, I must have missed the part when New York had its first lockdown because people have been living like nothing’s going on since April. And don’t even get me started on the shenaningans in every other state (looking at you, down South). I mean, are they opening up speakeasies again or something? How are people going out to fucking bars and raves? Did I seriously miss something??? How are you legally cramming hundreds of people into confined areas during a……… FUCKING PANDEMIC?!???!

This was harsh…but I meant everything I said. I just ask, beg, of you to think about the 200,000 (and counting) Americans who have died of COVID the next time you go out so you can get drunk with your friends. Do I sound like a bitter prude? IDGAF. It’s the least I can not give a fuck about nowadays anyway. Think about the marginalized communities you so readily post on your Instagram story the next you go out for a “city date” or stroll down Arthur Ave. on your scooter mask-less. Just, fucking, think. 

To everyone being reckless during these terrible times, to be utterly and completely frank, fuck you.

One thought

  1. You sound like a disgruntled juvenile delinquent!! Your potty mouth says it ALL about you and your intellect!!

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