Two Editors Discuss the Newest Cybertruck
by Jack Archambault & Noah Kotlarek
When you were in 2nd grade, did you ever mess around and doodle in your notebook? Elon Musk did, and we know because he just turned a seven-year-old’s drawing of a truck into…a real truck.
Musk, the billionaire entrepreneur and Tesla CEO, revealed Tesla’s new Cybertruck on Nov. 21. The Cybertruck is an electric pickup truck that, in addition to having windows that are not rockproof (let alone bulletproof), was either designed by an elementary schooler in 1980 who had never seen a car before, or a kid playing Minecraft in 2019 who has seen a car before, but thinks he can make one that looks better.
But not everyone thinks the Cybertruck looks like the stupidest thing that anybody has ever come up with. News Editor Noah Kotlarek is one of them.
Noah: You can laugh all you want about the Cybertruck and its odd proportions, sharp edges, and weak windows, but you must admire the fact that Tesla is going forward with such a daring design. Elon and his team have continued to push the envelope for the benefit of us all. Currently, although there has been some improvement (new Chevrolet Silverado is quite daring), truck designs across brands are all rather similar and conservative: big grille, cabin, and rectangular box. Why must we live in this world of boring automotive design when we could have so much more? Look at the shoes people are wearing, Nike’s with huge colorful bubbles, Adidas’ with chunky bases, etc. Look at the phones people are using: the huge iPhone 11 Pro with three ridiculously sized cameras, the new foldable Motorola Razr, the Samsung S10 with it’s gorgeous wrap around screen. It’s time automotive design caught up. The Cybertruck is helping us do just that. Though it is easy to see why people are turned off by the Cybertruck’s “progressive” design, it will serve to push the designers of the competitor’s trucks to find a happy medium of design: more creative and adventurous than current status-quo but not as wonky and awkward as the Cybertruck.
I predict that once the Cybertrucks start rolling around public roads people will begin to appreciate them. When an elementary school kid sees a Cybertruck drive by that’s what’s going to get him excited, not a Ford F-150. The Cybertruck is essential a supercar, its purpose is to be eccentric and over the top, it’s not meant to be compared to the standard truck. It’s a new thing, and that’s great. Creativity, individual thought, making something different and challenging, those are things to be celebrated. So, to the team at Tesla: thank you. But, Jack, you make continue your roast.keep it up and destroy the rest of the truck too.
Jack: The best part of the Cybertruck reveal was when Elon Musk touted the truck’s “armored glass”. He then had someone throw a metal ball to demonstrate just how tough said glass is. And guess what? The ball bounced off the glass like a pebble! Just kidding, it shattered it! Musk’s response? “We’ll fix that.”You know what, Elon, don’t bother. Shattering the glass was a good start, now
Also, the truck might not even be legal. In addition to lacking a pedestrian-friendly front bumper, the Cybertruck doesn’t appear to have blinkers or side view mirrors. It must be a metaphor for “never looking back” or some other dumb thing billionaires say.
Finally, the font Musk decided to use for Cybertruck is completely illegible. If you squint and try really hard to make out what it says, it ends up looking like it says CYbeRRTVKK. Sometimes it’s best to just use Times New Roman, or even better, Helvetica.