Did the Mueller Report exonerate Trump? Fake News

Another Trump rant from the paper? Groundbreaking.

by Zahir Quader

Features & List Editor

Good news everyone! Donald Trump is not guilty of treason. As you know, the President was cleared of colluding with Russia; according to the four-page Barr report summarizing it. While Obstruction of Justice is still up in the air due to the full report not being released yet, one thing is for sure: Donald Trump is still a dick. President douchebag may not be guilty of this one crime but that does not change who he is as a person.
First of all, he is a not-so-closeted racist, which has been made apparent from housing discrimination against black people in the 1970s to recent comments about Mexicans, Jews, Muslims, Native Americans, and many other ethnic groups he has made. In addition, his bigotry has a dash of misogyny as well. Be it bloody eyes or cat grabbing, he is always one word away from a sexual harassment lawsuit. But wait… he has several of those too! Good thing the people of America trust the free press enough to keep him from going extreme… NOT! Every time THE DONALD hears something he does not like, he immediately calls it fake news. He could say “I do not like puppies” and when the news reports Donald Trump does not like puppies he says “FAKE NEWS!” Anytime anyone questions anything he says or does he immediately labels them as the enemy of the people. Be it a government official, a news organization, writer or a random citizen, whoever gets in his crosshairs at that moment immediately gets labeled as such.
Now this would not be a big deal if he were just some rando on the street, but this fascist pumpkin has had a cult form around him. He has convinced people down on their luck that he, the orange devil, is the messiah that will return the country to the “golden age” of the 1960s. He has convinced a lost group of people that their lives are in danger from colored people and non-believers whose wills destroy their lives with environmentalism and social programs. He has brainwashed them into believing that a billionaire that has allowed them to say the N-word again is the voice of the downtrodden. He plays off of people fears in order to satisfy his ego and assert himself as a king. He tells them the enemy is at the gates we must build a wall. We are being replaced we must fight back against the foreign invaders by any means necessary. This man’s assholery is spreading! He called NAZIS very fine people for god’s sake! He has encouraged many racist attacks as well from Pittsburgh to Christchurch right wing terrorists have mentioned him in their manifestos time and time again. His entire rhetoric is spreading and corrupting even the youngest members of our society as his cultists are brainwashing them as well. From the douchebaggery of the Covington kids, the hatefulness at his rallies to the dumpster fire of twitter (let’s be honest though twitter has always been a dumpster fire.) Donald Trump is not a good human being. While he may have done some good things, I’m pretty sure some of the worst dictators in history volunteered at a soup kitchen from time to time. It’s like hey I know I threw a bunch of people out of a helicopter, but remember that time I gave money to a homeless shelter. A small act of good does not erase a lifetime of bad. Donald Trump may not be a treasonous asshole but, that does not change the fact he is a shitty human being. Just because a man didn’t betray his nation does not mean he did not betray what it mean to be a decent human being.

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