One Hit Wonder and Narcissist Hits Legal Trouble

After Years of Irrelevance, Soulja Boy Roars To Fame … And His #MeToo Moment

By Anonymous
Staff Papparazzo

Soulja Boy has largely been known as a one hit wonder, but it turns out that there may have been many more hits than we realized. This week, a woman named Kayla who used to date Soulja Boy came forward claiming that he had both assaulted and attempted to kidnap her on Friday, February 1st.

According to Kayla’s story, she and Soulja Boy who were dating at the time got into a heated argument at his Los Angeles home. Soulja asked her to leave, and as she was pulling out of his driveway to leave she hit the curb, causing Soulja to come outside and initiate another argument. Soulja Boy allegedly knocked her to the ground and proceeded to kick and punch her before bringing her inside his home and tying her to a chair. After allegedly spending 6 hours tied up with an electric cable, Soulja finally released her. Kayla claims to have immediately called the police upon leaving his house and checked herself into the hospital to be treated for a concussion and three broken ribs.

None of these accusations have been proven to be true at this point, and Soulja’s manager has denied all claims made by Kayla, but law enforcement is conducting an investigation of the allegations.

Soulja is already on 5 year probation for a previous weapon conviction, meaning that if these accusations turn out to be true, he can be charged with not only assault and kidnapping, but also for breaking his probation which will most likely lead to extended jail time.

Soulja’s bad publicity has been piling up recently, specifically after a conversation that he had with fellow rapper, Drake. Soulja claimed that he taught Drake everything he knows, saying, “Don’t act like I didn’t make Drake”, and “stop playing with me like I didn’t teach Drake everything he knows” which has resulted in controversy with fans and artists alike. Even Jake Paul is in on the current Soulja Boy beef, making plans to fight him for the small price of 20 million dollars. The rapper and YouTuber have both stated that they will bet 20 million on the upcoming boxing match. This hatred stemmed from a heated Instagram live video where the two fought over Soulja Boy’s recent entrepreneurship and outspokenness.

So what does all this bad publicity mean for Soulja Pods? Or his new game console? Or, most importantly, Fordham University Spring Weekend? If Soulja boy is found guilty of assault or kidnapping he might be too busy in jail to make it to the Bronx this spring. In that case, CAB will have to scramble to find someone last minute that lives up to the hype that Fordham students created around Soulja Boy, which would prove to be quite the task. Some students are hoping that the accusations are false so that they can still jam to “Kiss Me Thru the Phone”, while others would be ecstatic to have a different artist visit this spring. Whether you’re pro Soulja or not, there is one thing we can all agree on: “In this world you either crank that Soulja Boy or it cranks you”.

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