Rachel Has A LOT of Feelings So Here They Are

Did she cry writing this? Maybe. Okay, yes.

by Rachel Poe

Opinions Deaditor

If you know me, then you know that I transferred to Fordham after an extremely rough freshmen year at a little college in the middle of corn fields and a retirement community. Coming in for my sophomore year, I knew I would have to make changes if I was going to enjoy my time here. I signed up for maybe twenty different clubs but only one stuck. The paper was filled with the same kind of opinionated, dorky-ass people that I had been missing from my life. I started writing for them, started crashing production weekends, forcing them to like me and be my friends.

Then junior year rolled around. I was officially an editor and I was living by myself off-campus. I literally have no idea how this happened, but I started to invite people over to mine after production and thus paper parties were born. We would gather in my living room, around my coffee table that we painted one weekend, and drink and laugh and make memories. It the midst of everything else going wrong in my life, there was always this light coming our times together.

And like that I had a family at Fordham. A small group of assholes who like to play board games and watch movies about re-animated T-Rex’s with Paul Walker’s brain. We fought, sure, pissed each other off. A lot. But isn’t that what a family is for? At the end of the day, I love you all and wouldn’t know what to do with myself without you guys in my life.

So, now I’m going to take a moment to say something nice about everyone else because who cares about me? (You know there’s too many of us when I have to check the fucking GroupMe to make sure I have everyone, god damn.) ((I’m making jokes so I don’t get too emotional #holla))

To Kelly and Siobhan, Mom and Dad, lights in my life- I don’t think I can thank you two enough. You made me feel special and important and never failed to bring a smile to my face. Thanks for your guidance and your encouragement and your shenanigans. I miss you guys!!!

To Luis and Looby, our (mostly) fearless leaders, thanks for being assholes but like the good kind of assholes, you know? Y’all drove me and the rest of the paper to be better writers and journalists. Somehow, the admin thinks we’re credible now and I think we all owe that to you guys.

To Colleen- COLL, my rock, my love, one of my oldest friends at Fordham. I miss you so much! Come back from France now pls, they’ve had you long enough. You’ve put up with me as your co-editor twice now and honestly, shit would not have gotten done without you. Not only are you a great friend but positivity radiates off you and I hope that never changes.

To Declan- Holy fuck, you amaze me. You’re driven and so intelligent and just an all around awesome person and friend. There’s no one else I’d want to host a shitty little podcast with. I would say I’m sorry for roping you into the mess that is the paper and my life, but I would be lying.

To Nick- Oh, Nick Peters, somehow, we went from trying to kill each other in News to being best friends and I honestly wouldn’t have changed any of it. Thank you for always being there for me, even when I’m being an asshole (a.k.a. 90% of the time), and I promise to always be there for you.

To Michael Jack Jack Michael- Honestly, I don’t think I can describe how proud of you I am. You’ve grown up so much in these past couple years and I’m, like, not afraid of giving you responsibilities anymore! Yay! Improvements! You’re a pain in the ass but you’re my little brother so I can say that with love.

To Hillary- LITTLE! I love you and you’re one of the best things this weird-ass publication has brought into my life. I still think of that night we played pizza box and we both revealed that we had friend-crushes on each other, it literally made my year. You’re amazing and paint my world with glitter and dope ass poetry.

To Meredith- Mere-Bear! I feel like I’ve watched you blossom at the paper. You shine rainbows and memes and I love it. There’s no one else I would trust with the future of the paper, I know you’re only going to keep making it better and better.

To Matthew- Bow down to the Meme Lord. Matt, thank you for all of your kindness, your light-heartedness, and your mom’s fantastic snacks. Whether it was during production or a paper party or even just a well-timed meme in the group chat, you always make me laugh. You’re a great editor and an even better friend.

To Michael- The only reason why I make to it our class on Friday is because of you. I don’t think I could handle a two-hour seminar on Friday afternoons without your snark. Even though you’ve never came to one of my paper parties (which, like, rude), it wouldn’t have been the paper without you and your endless articles about art. I’ve learned more from you than Fordham at this point.

To Anna- I feel like I have to once again thank you for the Philosophy Club party incident and for that time I locked myself out of my apartment and you broke your ID trying to wiggle the door open, so I could get inside and stop my insanely overwhelming panic attack. Yeah, you’ve been there for me at some of my worst moments and we’re still friends. Seriously, who’s paying you? Is it my mom? It’s totally my mom…

To Scott- There are few people I get as excited to see out as you. You always make me laugh and put up with my weirdness, especially when I’m being drunk and stupid. I’m still mad that you never come to paper parties anymore but it’s fine. (No, it’s not. Be in my life. K thanks.)

To Claire- Girl, you’ve been killing it from day one at the paper. One of these days you’re going to take over the world. Never forget that.

To all the new editors- you guys are the future of this little shitty publication we care so much about. Treat it well, keep its integrity, and put yourself into it. I can’t promise it will always be rainbows and sunshine, but you have a family here. Cherish it.

And with that, I say peace out, Fordham! George Washington, get ready.

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