Why Katherine Heigl Is Worse Than the Taliban

Ruining the world one bitch fit at a time
by Will Speros
Opinions Co-Editor

katherine-heigl-cats

During my time working on the paper, I feel like I’ve made something of an effort to help our readers get to know a little bit about me. I have spoken often about my love of movies, as well as the fact that I would rather spend time with food than most of the people I know. However, there is one major aspect of my personality that I have never mentioned in my articles, and I feel it would be an injustice not to write about the strongest belief I hold: Katherine Heigl is the worst human who has ever walked the face of the Earth.

Let me be clear: if someone were ever in debt to me, and offered me the chance to have anyone I wanted killed (much like Arya Stark in season two of Game of Thrones), I’m pretty sure Katherine Heigl would be at the top of my list. It’s a pragmatic decision; she’s a much more accessible target than Kony or any other warmonger, although in my book she’s of the same caliber.

Let me explain.

Heigl really made a big splash when she appeared in Knocked Up, a movie which went on to achieve considerable critical and commercial success. But all that success was not able to stop Heigl from making highly hypocritical comments that, at the very least, made her sound pretty ungrateful to Judd Apatow for casting her in a movie that allowed her to achieve notoriety beyond television’s worst show (we’ll get to Grey’s later). She was quoted in Vanity Fair calling the film “sexist” and that it “paints women as shrews, as humorless and uptight.” These comments obviously pissed a lot of people off, and the media had a field day. Naturally, Heigl bullshitted an excuse where she claimed she intended for her comments to “encourage other women . . . not to take that element of the movie too seriously.” What?

Call me crazy, but portraying a woman who is brave enough to keep the child she conceives from a night of drunken sex, and steps up to the plate to try and maintain a civilized relationship with the father for the sake of the kid, is a lot more admirable role for a woman to play than some chick who sits at a fucking desk all day long pining for her boss and daydreaming about getting married (27 Dresses). Or, for that matter, a woman who crumbles under pressure of basic work assignments and handles guns like she’s picking up a dead cockroach off the floor even as she’s being shot at (Killers). But I digress, and I’m also not a woman, so I won’t speak as if I am one. But I will say, from my perspective, the film roles she seems drawn to nowadays degrade women a lot more than her character in Knocked Up ever could have.

Now let’s talk about all the drama Heigl caused while on Grey’s Anatomy. I never followed the show, but when there was kerfuffle around her rejecting an Emmy nomination and blaming it on her writers, I took notice. The rumors (that Heigl and her team seem to have made every effort to bury) involved Heigl rejecting ABC’s plan to put her up for consideration for another Emmy nomination, on the grounds that her writers had not given her enough screen-time or good enough material to deserve a nomination. The writers, who were obviously offended by such a prima donna move, decided to accommodate Heigl’s request for more screen-time in the most badass way possible: they gave her character a terminal illness. Hats off to these writers for not taking any shit, and for reminding all of Hollywood not to fuck with your writers.

Heigl endured her time as a dying woman, but, like a true asshole, fought her way out of her contract and bailed on the show altogether. Unfortunately, her character did not get killed off. You’d think that her saga of saying hypocritical things about her own career decisions would have ended, but no. Heigl stated in 2012 that she regrets her decision to leave Grey’s Anatomy, and hopes that the producers will ask her to return at some point.

Good job, Heigl. Good job.

Katherine Heigl has inexplicably managed to maintain relevance and fame despite the fact that she has consistently demonstrated that she is ungrateful for the amazing opportunities she has had throughout her career, as well as the fact that she is, in the most basic form, a hypocrite. The level of unabashed selfishness and disregard for the feelings of others that she achieves is pretty remarkable. So remarkable, in fact, that I’m rather surprised she’s never had a career in reality television.

One thought

  1. You probably hate her so much because you have a completely incorrect view of all the points you chose to mention. For a start. ABC or any studio do not nominate people for Emmys. Would be great if you could nominate your own cast for awards wouldnt it? Sadly that doesnt happen. The actor chooses to submit an episode for consideration if they wish. This is not for nomination but just to enter. Nominations (typically 4 or 5 people) are made from the thousands who enter by the voting committee. Heigl simply chose not to submit an entry because the writers had paired her character with her best friend and had her rescuing dead deers that season. This came the year after she had won an Emmy for the same role. So when she didnt enter there was a big fuss because she won the previous year. The fact is, she was spot on. The writing sucked that year and it wasnt worth her entering. What is also a fact is that hundreds of actors and actress dont bother to submit each year. Heigl was singled out because she was a previous winner and nothing more. Next, she said that she would like to return to the show to do a few episodes because of the way her character left very suddenly. She left the show to spend time with her newly adopted baby daughter – and didnt work for almost a year after leaving because she wanted to be with her. As for Knocked Up – yes she did say it was a little sexist. But she was asked to respond to the view that had been put around by certain womens groups that the male characters were loveable and the females were uptight. She responded trying to be positive but added that she hoped women would see that the characters were exaggerated and that is what made the humor. Of course what was reported was “Heigl thinks knocked up is sexist”. Basically this is called Hollywood likes actresses to look pretty and not have opinions. So in reality all of the arguments you put forward were both misinformed and incorrect. Yes I do like her as an actress, but what got me to write this was more the fact I see such double standards. Male actors can criticise their own shows at will with no fall out, they can have opinions without being ungrateful. In fact they are considered leaders and strong willed. Sadly the same standards are not afforded to women.

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