The goat is a noble creature. It is nimble, it is majestic and, above all else, it is ornery as fuck.
Goats are all at once the archetypal petting zoo standby adored by children and bumbling idiot man-children alike and the go-to mammalian embodiment of all things satanic. Goats are essentially the tofu of the world of animal symbolism; they can serve nearly any purpose required of them and are derived from soy beans.
To love the goat is to love all beasts of the earth that have in some way, shape or form served the needs of humankind from the days of prehistory to the present.
I submit to all loyal readers evidence of the goat’s upright and moral character, and entreat all who see this to revere the goat not as a foul barnyard beast, but rather as a loyal subject to man: EXHIBIT 1