Miss Poo S A

In case you’re a part of the tiny but fortunate minority who hasn’t heard about the latest non-issue specifically designed to distract you from the oncoming apocalypse, let the paper rot your medulla with some “entertainment news.” Media failure Perez Hilton & double media failure Fox News are currently feuding about an exchange between Hilton and Miss USA contestant Carrie Prejean during the interview portion of the Sunday night finals. He asked her what her stance on gay marriage was, to which she responded with the following:

“We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”

Naturally, Perez Hilton (real last name not actually Hilton), being the paragon of class that he is, called her a “dumb bitch.” Fox News (real last name not actually News), being the paragon of class that it is, lambasted the contest & blamed her not winning the title on her conservative views. They described her as a “sweet Christian girl” who was the “clear frontrunner” before the debacle.

Newsflash: Perez Hilton & Fox News fighting over the moral highground on any issue is akin to two bald men fighting over a comb, & that’s all I have to say about that. And to Miss Prejean: genuine kudos for being frank about it, but really, did the Mormons cut you some of that leftover Prop 8 cheese?

This whole situation is stupid and pointless to be sure, but the real travesty is how boringly attractive and similar looking the contestants were. I mean, honestly, whoever is picking these women clearly doesn’t have an eye for nuance… or even plain old differentiation.

-Sir Leonard of Papersworth

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