State Senator David Schultheis Dick Slaps God

You may have read about this insane fool who broke into the Denver senate chamber, went on a mad rant about HIV infected babies before being carried out by an angry bipartisan crowd of legislators. In a wrinkly well worn suit and disheveled hair dragging across an ever expanding bald spot, this psychopath effectively held the senate camber captive as he spewed forth Bible passages while his eyes rolled around in his skull like a villainous preacher man on crack-cocaine. The murmuring of the normally sleepy eyed senators in attendance went from low grumblings to swirling shrieks as state senator David Schultheis (R-Colorado Springs) went ideologically ape shit in front of them, in the process dick slapping the Christian God Himself and levying a vile attack on America and all she stands for.

Senator Pigfucker (R- Colorado Springs)
Sen. Pigfucker (R-Colorado Springs)

The subject of his hateful sermon was (of course) about not granting health benefits to HIV infected babies because it “promoted promiscuity.” The staunchly pro-life senator argued for the government endorsing the deaths of thousands of babies to make examples of them. Even members of the Republican Party were aghast by the sheer wrongheadedness of Schiltheis’ rhetoric and Democrats were worked up into a blood hungry rage by the insane stupidity of it.

In depth analysis after the jump!

Well folks, there’s the story, here’s the analysis: David Schultheis is either a baby eating Satan worshipper, or a dullard the likes of which have never been historically accounted for. Granted picking apart an argument like this is about as profound as proclaiming Hitler to be a bit of a bad egg, but how in the hell was this man elected? What does that say about his constituents? Is Colorado Springs a district filled with boobs or are they too all dyed red evil? Only the mid-term elections will tell whether or not Colorado Springs is a hellish vortex of sin and fascism, or a good natured city that simply made a terrible mistake at the polls.

Until then, goodnight and God Bless the united States of America.

You can read more about this evil sonofabitch, here.

-Charles

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