Shit Needs to Get Real in O’Hare

Okay, so I don’t live on campus. I trek down three flights of stairs and push my old lady cart filled to the brim with stinking socks all the way to O’Hare, because laundry fascist regimes have popped up in Finlay and Walsh Hall laundry rooms and for the most part it’s fine, but today I witness a fuckin’ atrocity in O’Hare. Some girl walks into the laundry room and spots three girls with suitcases putting their shit into dryers… So she puts her laundry into three open machines and then leaves to tell the laundry Gestapo her R.A. about it. WHAT? IS THIS REAL LIFE?!?!

That little piggy squealed and brought down her RA and the two of them start poking around and asking me questions like “do I live here?” I lied and got away, but enough is enough. I understand that this school is run by fucking Guster loving robots, but this shit is absurd… and this shit…NEEDS TO GET REAL.

-Charles

2 thoughts

  1. Just as a matter for clarification: would the laundry fascists really employ the laundry Stasi to undermine the laundry freedoms that make this university what it is today?

    I feel the more likely culprit would have been the laundry Schutzstaffel.

  2. “It’s not about making a big hullabaloo about the morons who try to stick a torch up yer but, it’s about being a good enough shithead to make a fool of them and walk away triumphantly.”

    -Billy Crystal (1987)

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