Last week, the internet‘s resident balls specialist, Peter Mullin, informed you all of some seriously frightening news considering a rather dubious study on the increase in risk of contracting Prostate Cancer if your a male and enjoy jerking the gerk. Today, famed rudeboy Matt Drudge reported more bad news for those swinging low.
According to a new study, Marijuana may raise the risk of Testicular Cancer in males, and that the holy herb may be held accountable for a more aggressive, harder to treat version of the disease. The study, conducted in Seattle, showed that Marijuana users were 70% more likely to develop the disease than those who abstain from…well, smoking pot.
There really is no good way to put this folks. Apparently the balls are now a no fun zone. What are the two things my balls like to do the most? Exactly, masturbate and smoke weed. I’m always telling them, “listen you two, it’s time to get real. how am I supposed to get a job when all you guys do is jerk off and smoke weed all the time? and the Cheetos crumbs are unacceptable.”
I’m crying foul. This new study is horsewash, simply another myth perpetuated by the tobacco companies to keep marijuana illegal. Horsewash, I say!