THIS JUST IN: America Embraces Hammer and Sickle

Where is Joe McCarthy when you need him?  Obama has dropped our stars and stripes on the dirty doormat of Hell’s door and is currently waiting as Beelzebub stitches us up a new, red flag.  We, the conscious citizens, toiling in our newly erected equally-spaced tenements are utterly powerless, and our only legitimate source for news, Fox, just isn’t funny, factual, informative, bearable, human, or non-satanical enough to drive home the point–the imminently annihilative fact–that we are rolling down the fetid, volcanic rocks of death and doom.  

Joe McCarthy, wherever you are, deliver us from out great peril–from a social-ethic-charged national center, from a non-polarized wealth spectrum, from a nation that admits not rewards for mistakes nor bonuses for embezzlement.  Deliver us from all these evils.  Amen.

-Senator

One thought

  1. If you need to contact Joe McCarthy personally, just go to Tinks on Tuesday and Friday nights and look for the guy climbing on top of tables still reeling over his Wheeling speech 60 years ago.

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