After years of heterosexual monopoly, it appears that homosexuals have finally gained the right to come out of the closet and still die for their country. White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs reaffirmed the incoming President Elect’s intent to do away with that pesky “don’t ask don’t tell” compromise that effectively bogarted Clinton’s first 100 days way back in ’93. The move is sure to drive the atavistic bastards that make up the rotten silent majority bat-shit crazy, and should be lauded by progressives and real Americans everywhere.
Hopefully this kind of decision should show Barry Obama growing a pair of nuts and realizing that he can do the right thing with gay rights and not incite a Civil war against the unwashed masses, regardless of what an anti-American thug masquerading a “pundit,” like Sean Hannity might tell you.
In related news this announcement has torpedoed Corporal Klinger’s many, many hilarious attempts to escape the military service by pretending he was gay. And with M*A*S*H’s syndication more popular than ever, it appears that he will forever be stuck in Unit 4077 forever.