2008 has come to a close and 2009 has just begun. And while 2008 was marked with some wonderful things, it was also marked with many, many things that absolutely just need to go away this year. Really, as with every year, things that are “the worst” are plentiful, but here are a few of my favorites, in no particular order. The real tragedy of this list is that we are only four days into the new year and I can say with near certainty that all of these things with continue to exist and continue to suck through 2009. Blerg.
Check out the list, after the jump.
Oh, Katy Perry. I was pretty damn late on figuring out who you were. Every time someone mentioned the song, “I Kissed a Girl,” I thought they were talking about the 1995 song of the same name by Jill Sobule. But no, they were talking about your suspiciously similar pop hit. Unlike Sobule’s song, your song is less a song of gay empowerment, and more of an anthem to drunk girls trying to impress frat boys. I could even forgive you for this and listen to your music, just because it is so. damn. catchy. But no. After I found out who you were I quickly found out you are the tour de annoying. Your first album was a Christian gospel album, and when that didn’t work you got an image makeover. Actually, that’s more hilarious than annoying. At first I thought your new image was really cute, but by the end of 2008, you looked like this. But it was this “sexy” video of you eating cake and subsequently eating shit that cemented you on my list.
Aaron Rose (from Gossip Girl)
No, not the real Aaron Rose (although, for all I know, he could suck as well), but the character on Gossip Girl. Now I know this Aaron Rose isn’t a real person, but he has made this list nonetheless. For those of you who don’t know him, Aaron is Serena van der Woodsen’s current boyfriend on the hit television show, and he could not be any more annoying. He’s like a lot of self-important asshole “artists” in New York who a) makes hideous art from what they’ve shown us and b) uses it to pick up underage ladies (that’s you, Serena). On top of that, he is somehow portrayed as a “player,” despite his meek personality and weasel-y looks. Although Dan and Serena were wildly annoying together as a couple, I found myself rooting for Dan in the most recent episode! Rooting for Dan and Serena to get back together?! Yes, Aaron Rose is that bad.
He is perpetually angry and loud and he doesn’t vote, but WORST of all is that Keith Olbermann is SO god damn SELF RIGHTEOUS. Even when I agree with what Olbermann is yelling about (which happens a lot), he is completely unwatchable. You are not the liberal version of Bill O’Reilly, because I give O’Reilly at least some respect for this and this, and everyone likes Rachel Maddow more than you anyway. So please, in 2009, go away. (Note: not likely).
the Word “Cougar”
the Word “Cougar”
I don’t really know when I first heard this word, but it has to be one of the most obnoxiously overused words of 2008. A “cougar” is kind of like a MILF, but the aforementioned older lady hooks up with and/or dates the younger men that mysteriously lust after them. Some famous cougars are Demi Moore (with Ashton Kutcher), Jennifer Aniston (with John Mayer), and my favorite, pictured on the right, Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife and her 19 year-old (just about the age of her children) beau. I think this word reached its pinacle of over-use with the announcement of Courtney Cox’s new show, Cougartown, sure to be watched by lonely former Lipstick Jungle fans.
LOLcats are tied with “Epic FAIL” as far as things that I thought were really funny a little over a year ago and now I cannot stand. Linking to those two web sites just now was infuriating. What can I say? Here’s to maybe possibly some people can stop beating a dead horse in 2009.
Spencer & Heidi (from The Hills)
I have had enough of the fakest couple on the fakest reality show. Even if you don’t watch The Hills or know what the hell it is, these two are completely unavoidable. Just as 2008 was coming to an end Heidi and Spencer got “married” in Mexico. I say married in quotations because the ceremony wasn’t legal in the United States and was really nothing more than an US Weekly photo shoot. The most annoying thing about them is that they constantly call the paparazzi to take pictures of their “normal” day to day lives. Like this, this, this, or this.