Pat’ted Down

Mondays are bad days. Garfield hates them. Everyone else hates them. Maybe that girl that sits in the front row of your English class likes them, you know, the one with the weird smell and the huge glasses, but that’s because she has no social life. However, if you are a consumer of clever television commercials, you know that the one redeeming feature of Mondays is that magical game that involves almost no focus on the feet. Once again, I have something to say about Football.

Can you hear me now?  Good.
Can you hear me now? Good.

The New England Patriots have finally proven the sports press wrong (myself and weird two-dads system of editors included). With Tom Brady’s knee injury they have not sacrificed potential, only consistency. Nigh on a week after watching Philly Rivers squat down and lay a San Diego (3-4) Steamer on Bill Belichick’s trademark gray hoodie, the Pats hosted the (then) 4-2 Bronco in what many had predicted would be the nail in the Patriots season-coffin. They said that Matt “White” Cassel (thanks for stealing my line, Jim Rome) wouldn’t be able to exploit the Bronc’s unimpressive defense and that Jay Cutler would make the Pat’s beat up secondary look worse than my previous set of puns.


They (we) were wroooong. Ghostbusters, “This Mr. Stay Puft’s okay!” wrong. Matt Cassel ended most, if not all, high school quarterback jokes and the Pat’s defense stepped up to play when the 4-2 Pats pounced on the Broncos, soundly beating them 41-7. While many saw the Broncos as a team on the ascent, and the Pat’s destined for a forgettable season with Brady on the IR, the Patriots, especially the defense, re-asserted themselves, recovering three fumbles and forcing two interceptions. White Cassel threw three TDs, and Sammy “His Name is My Name” Morris and BenJarvus “His Name is Four Names” Green-Ellis each posted a rushing TD and a combined 203 yards rushing. While the Pats are out of position for a season even remotely as dominant as last years, and they still may be week-to-week, they managed to rip off the label of “losers” and restore some credibility to Boston sports after the Sox were knocked out by the Rays. They still trail the Bills in the AFC East, but may be able to nab a Wild Card berth in this year’s relatively feeble AFC.

In other news, the Cowboys once again lost to an obviously inferior team, and there was much rejoicing.


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