Fun With Money, The New Penny

In a time of economic hardship, political unrest and federal deficit, the United States Mint has the wisdom and vision to unite all Americans in saying “Fuck the Lincoln Memorial”. The Mint has done away with pesky pennies, America’s least valuable coin and the only money in production that the U.S. produces at a loss. Pennies, which most American’s deem unworthy of picking up off the ground, are an undeniable pest and often create transactions costs that outweigh their value. The destruction of the penny would be a tremendous boon to the government and citizen of the United States, were it not being replaced by four types of pennies commemorating the bicentennial of Lincoln’s birth and 100th anniversary of the Lincoln Head penny’s release. The new pennies, which I can only assume are produced at an even greater cost to taxpayers, furthering our national debt pennies at a time, include such incredible and necessary items, as seen after the jump.

The Kentucky shack Lincoln was squeezed out in!
The Kentucky shack Lincoln was squeezed out in!
Lincoln slacking on the job with a nudie mag!
Lincoln slacking on the job with a nudie mag!
Lincoln in front of the Illinois capital!  Riveting!
Lincoln in front of the Illinois capital! Riveting!
An unfinished US Capitol! Wow!
An unfinished US Capitol! Wow!

and finally,

Megatron!
Megatron!

Congratulations to the US Mint, The US Government, and all of America for spending a ridiculous amount of money on something worth less than it’s value in metal, and for tremendously wasting all our time. Happy birthday Abe, I bet you’re spinning in your grave.

-Sam

2 thoughts

  1. I hope they make some sort of collector’s display thing. You know, like when they started coming out with those 50 state quarters… My dad bought me a huge cardboard map thing that you were supposed to stick them into. I think I stopped after about 13 quarters. So I hope they do something similar that I can stick my collectible pennies into.

  2. The first one, clearly commemorating our nation’s closeted gay republicans, really touches me. In a Mark Foley kind of way.

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