Melania Trump’s White House Christmas Spectacular

On Monday November 26, 2018, First Lady Melania Trump revealed the 2018 White House Christmas decorations to the public. The mansion’s decorations include 20,000 feet of lights, 14,000 ornaments, 12,000 bows, 29 Christmas trees, pencil wreaths to promote the “Be Best” campaign, a gigantic gingerbread replica of the National Mall, and most notably, 40 bright red Topiary trees. The display was set up entirely by volunteers, most of whom are either veterans or are representative of veteran families; out of about 6,000 applicants, only a little over two hundred people were selected to be a part of the decorating team.

Next Year’s News Predictions

January 2019:
*New Study Shows 80% of People Believe in Climate Change–Only 30% of People Care
*Jeff Bezos and Disney in Competition to Buy Everything Single Living and Non-Living Thing
*Nuclear Missiles Launched Into the Moon: War Ensues
*Elon Musk and Seth Rogen Invented New Strain of Weed: Weed Now Illegal in New York
*Dieters Lose Their Minds Avoiding Candy, Potato Chips, and Carbs

E. Gads: E. Coli outbreak strikes in U.S. and Canada

Despite its rather barbaric origins, most people would agree that Thanksgiving is about family, celebration, and togetherness. However, no matter how kind we may be, there’s always company that we’d rather avoid than extend a hand to. This year, families were forced to deal with a particularly unwelcome guest at their Thanksgiving tables––an outbreak of the newest strand of E. coli.

Breaking News: Paul Manafort Lied! Again!

Paul Manafort, ex-Trump campaign chairman and current convicted felon, has recently been accused of meeting with Wikileaks leader, Julian Assange in March of 2016. The Guardian claims the two met in the Ecuadorian embassy in London, and though there is no information in regards to what they talked about, the timing of this alleged meeting occurred months before a major leak by Assange’s team.